BRANDING 101 (part 2): SIZE (BUSINESS CARD OR PLACARD)

            

The saying that goes: “small is beautiful”, which was most probably coined by a dwarf, substantiates this topic. In three words it explains that small things make for simplicity, which is what a business card ought to be – simple. And it all makes much more sense to me now, although I’m not a dwarf…I’m just three feet and not much inches.

MY FAVOURITE SPORT

 

I like sports. Doctors say exercise is good for the heart and the general well-being of everyone; and it can also help weight-loss too. Therefore, I like sports and I take it upon myself to take part, for exercise sake, in a form of sport, especially rigorous contact sports such as:

ASUU STRIKE CALLED OFF!

The Alcoholic Strike Union of Universities (ASUU, motto: retirement age, 120) today told press-men (motto: we need to poo) in Abuja that they've decided to call off the industrial action temporarily to allow students go back to school and wonder what they will be when they grow up... 

WOOING; IT’S THE BANE OF MANHOOD

                                   

Once in a while we, and I mean the human males, need to ask ourselves a certain question. This question goes a long way to affect our relationship with everyone around us, particularly our household pet chimpanzee. I believe you all already know what the question is so I’d just go right ahead and ask it: WHAT IS THE TRUE COLOR OF FART?

BRANDING 101: BUSINESS CARD

What is the most important parameter in a business? Before I answer that question let me define what a business is. As we all know, a business can be defined as the trade of…… Wait a minute, I said ‘as we all know’ right? That means there’s no need to define it anymore. Now, let’s move unto the topic of the day. Which is? Oh, I’ve forgotten, let me check the contents page. Ah-ha, there it is: BEFORE YOU READ ANY OF MY ARTICLES, MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT HAVE A BRAIN. No no no, that’s not it. Umm…..Eureka! Now, I remember; I was talking about the most important parameter in a business, which is: Branding.

PUBERTY? NAH, IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING.

I’ll take your questions later but first let me educate you about puberty. Puberty is a time when the human body undergoes some physical changes in order to attain sexual maturity. It is a time in our lives when we suddenly realize that our genitals are capable of other important functions besides bedwetting.

CONCERNED READER: Is bed-wetting a sign of puberty?

No, it’s not a sign of puberty; it is only a sign that you are capable of carrying out puberty; it means that your kidneys are functioning optimally. It also means that you have serious plumbing issues.

LAZINESS, OR SO I THOUGHT.

I will talk about laziness in a minute but first, let me give you a very shocking and contrasting observation that I have observed. Although, if truth be told, this just an excuse for me to digress. Now, my observation: Why did our fore fathers live longer in their days than we do in ours? I will answer that hopefully before the end of this world. I took out time to observe our fore fathers right from the time of the great deluge (i.e a very large rainfall), right after Adam and Eve learned to cultivate cassava and invented the first cassava meal: Tapioca (pronounced: Tar-pee-oh-car)